The Inevitable: Sickness

So the Husband had one heck of a stressful week.
He is in the military, and is trying to qualify right now... which basically includes, studying, studying, testing, asking questions, drills, going in extra early, getting yelled at a lot, not really understanding or being able to truly identify with what you are trying to learn because you aren't actually near what you are studying to operate, staying late some nights, spending some nights at work, generally being over worked, over tired, and pushed to a certain limit beyond most rational human limits, and then being pushed harder. So the Husband decided that since he was going to be staying at work until 10 ish thursday night and had to be at work by 6 the next morning that he would just spend the night at work and study and get more qualifications. Sounds good and responsible and so it is. Then Friday he had duty, and thus decided that it would be good to stay the night then too because he could basically get solid one on one time with some higher ranked personnel so that he could get even farther. And then Saturday, he had taken someone elses duty day because they had a doc appt with there pregnant wife, so he had to be at work then as well. Generally if there is a really chill person in lead on weekend then they generally can get off work around 2 ish in the afternoons. But alas, that is not how it works when the lead isn't chill. So the Husband ends up not getting off until 5pm. Now I had a baby shower to go to that started at five, and since all of the wives were going to be there all of the husbands decided to go out and generally get all around drunk. (I've got no problem with drinking and having fun). And since everyone knows that my husband doesn't drink or smoke, and has offered to always be DD when these things happen, he got voluntold to be DD. He had no problem with that, (neither did I.)
The baby shower ended roughly around 9 or 930. And all of the wives packed up and left on there way, assuming  that the menwouldn't be out much longer since the place why went to closed at 10. So I helped clean up my friend (and Baby Shower Party Hostess Extraordanaire's) house, and came home.
**I hadn't been feeling well at all for several days, and yesterday, I decided that the pain was rather grueling and decided to take the Hidrocodone that the DR. prescribed for me, but I rarely take because I hate taking strong medication. But since I was queasy and hadn't eaten all day, the medicine instead of working made me more sick and in more pain. Luckily my mom is awesome, and calmed me down over the phone and got me to sleep and when I woke up around 4 the pain and decreased enough for me to be able to go to the party.
So anyways, I got back to the house and started hurting pretty much again, and decided to take a hot bubble bath wait for the Husband, then when he got home we'd go to sleep.
10 pm...
1030...
11...
1130...
12am...
1230...
1...
130...
2 ... the husband walks in the door exhausted and looking really pale. I figured that he was going to be tired and honestly I wasn't mad at him  after all he was just the DD, making sure that everybody else  was okay, and could have fun and then he would cheuffer them back to their houses and then come home after spending the evening and early morning with drunk men... (sounds fun...).
He comes and lays in the bed next to me, and even in my medicinal semi coma I notice that he doesn't look okay. But he just goes to sleep and thats that. We wake up this morning and he is sick. SICK AS A DAMN DOG. Like body achey, head hurt, really warm all over, gunky sore throat... and I'm just so frustrated that he hasn't been able to really treat himself right for the past several days because he has put both his job and his friends in front of his health. And as much as I admire that, and love him so much for it, it still bothers me that he got this sick. I've let him sleep all day and basically took care of him, I took his temp tonight and it was 101.6 so I'm taking him to work in the morning to the Doc can declare him to sick to work and he can come home and go right back to bed.
While I went grocery shopping tonight I found the most adorable orange daisies so I bought them to cheer him up! I love my husband so much... I just wish I could make him never be sick, cause I hate feeling like I can't help...

Please keep the Husband in your thoughts and prayers that he will get better soon!
With Love,
Jude

Such as it is, I've been Blessed

I've been reading... nothing new for me. This is the most compatible way with making sure I do not lose touch with most intelligent life and cause my mind to go stagnant. But I've recently bought Bram Stokers' Dracula and have been blessed with a thought for a new story. So as such, I may be unreachable for a incomprehensable amount of time. I shall strive to check in regularly and provide updates. I would enjoy encouragement so as thus to break through any writers blocks that stand between me and a conclusion.

    With Regards to You and Yours,
                                   Jude

A Very Long Month.

So it has been almost a month since the last time I blogged. And it wasn't for lack of trying, but I've just been so busy, and so overwhelmed. Toward the end of Janurary I was on my monthly, and it is always a very painful and horrible experience. But on the 29th I fell down the stairs which led to me being sent to the hospital with fire like pain in my stomach and lower abdominal area. After copious hours sitting there they finally gave me morphine and sent me home. Then I went to my doctor and she did some tests and we never really got an answer but it had something to do with my Cervix. Now that the pain is prodominantly gone, but during this whole ordeal I was weighed and found out the I've gained roughly 50 lbs in the last year. So I am now at my heaviest at 174 lbs. I have never been this over weight. I placed my self on a mostly vegitarian diet, and am working out every day but I'm just so frustrated that it got this bad in the first place. When I told my doctor that I wanted to lose 50 lbs in 12 weeks she told me that it was unreasonable. That it would be better if I lost 50 lbs in 6 months. She says it is safer to lose no more than 2 or 3 lbs a week. So my whole revamp my body before summer time gets here, kinda shot out the window. I'm just so down right now... I will blog more later... I have to go get ready for my work out.

Ciao, Jude.

(PS: if any of you guys have any ideas things to eat or do that would make this process more fun/easier/or doable feel free to leave a comment.)

Love y'all!!

I've Been Inspired!

I got inspired this morning Randomly. (Or if you are like me, than you know that random is only a term used when God hits us over the head with something we were missing...)
I watched the rightnow.org video that I shared EVERYWHERE and got touched... htat deep in your heart, down in the crevices that you forget about for long moments at a time... the water seeped in and gave to the thirsty parts of my heart. And here I am, holding that spark in my metaphorical hands and I'm GOING TO FAN THE FLAME.
So I went and searched for my Bible... yeah, go ahead and berate me. I actually had to search for my version of the Words of God... and I found it tucked between Phelps Sports Illustrated and Persuasion by Jane Austen.
And when I opened it to the Book marked page, from 8th or 9th grade the highlighted part that I saw first stated this:
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you."
God has a way of just showing you. All I had to do was look. Search. Find. Those simple actions from me, resulted in getting an answer... and it's like I'm drinking The Water, and my Thirst is being quenched.
I am going to Copy and Paste a comment I made on a video on you-tube... because it will start the ball rolling on my thoughts:
~My heart breaks, because I don't have a meaning to my life right now. I was brought up with a desire to do more, be more, give more and yet I am unable to do so. I'm in a tightly dug hole, with very few options on how to get out and share my words and the WORD of God with others. You with your other videos and your ideas have started to revamp me, started that spark to make me look again, for a place a people that I can help. And I thank you for sharing this with me.~
The feelings in me are sometimes so diverse that I am unable to comprehend them or describe them, or share them. 
 I want to share, to show, to help but its as though I am stopped. There is this big invisible wall that is holding me just out of reach of my Goals my Dream my Desire to Give to Share to Help. Not that long ago I was consumed with a need to help African children, men, and women. I was driven by a force to help them, feed them, give them clean water, and heal there weak and tired souls. And would have been deeply touched with a smile from a sad and lost child being my only payment.

Where did that dream go? How far did it drift, or how far did I drift from it? Why was it that I didn't hold on to it? When was it that I became more than my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions? And why is it that looking back now my ambitions are so much more monetary than those of only a year or so ago when I woke up at sunrise and thanked God that I had AC, food, and hot water... to complaining that I haven't got a long enough hot shower, and being so finicky with the AC/Heating, and complaining that we haven't enough food, when I am able to eat every meal and not miss one. Why? Why.
I don't know what I am thinking, or going to do next, not yet, I am still in the beginning stages of the movement in me... but I know that I am going to try to not drift away again. I know that I am going  to try to make the flame into a fire and the fire into an explosion. And I'm going to try to do those things that not so long ago gave me purpose.
I'll keep you updated...
~Jude

What is a Trader? - RightNow.org

Interesting Musings... at least to me.

So the last couple of weeks I've been interested in Philosophy and Religion and how they affect one another. I personally believe in God, Christ and the Holy Spirit but I wouldn't say that I am Religious. And I also wouldn't say that that is a bad thing. I have a personal relationship with my Redeemer, and I don't think that I "have" to go to a church to make it better. But that is besides the point. My husband is an agnostic. (If you asked him, he would say that he is an atheist...) but if you talk to him and with him about his belief system, you'd realize it's just agnosticism. Lately I've been trying to figure out how it is that so many religions and beliefs can cohabitat on the same planet without some main one thrusting forward and taking dominion over them all. And against common belief Christianity isn't at the fore front anymore. Maybe in some parts of the world, but in others its just as easily Buddism, or Muslim, or even Wicca. So what makes this such a unilaterally diverse subject? I stopped at Border's several times this week and did some research on Philosophy and Religion and found some startling facts. For instance:

• In the year 575 BCE Confucious was born. (The creator and philosophical leader in Chineese history.
• In the year 563 BCE Siddhartha Gautama the creator of Buddhism was born.
• It's estimated that Jesus dying on the Cross didn't happen until roughly 33-30 BCE.
• And it wasn't proven until 725 years after Confucious was born that the earth was indeed round.
• And it took almost 2,000 years for Charles Darwin to come along and proclaim Evolution in 1859.

Now I realize that these may seem like useless peices of knowledge for most people but they blow my mind. I haven't exactly figured out why yet but they do. Just something to do with all of these facts in our history, my personal history and belief system, but with a date stamp on them makes them more stationary in the relative line of life... maybe, but I know that isn't the reason it's blowing my mind either. So, I guess that's food for thought.
While I was studying all of these things I was struck with the dynamic way that God works. When man started to question everything. He didn't do so in a Expansive state of mind... that's to say it wasn't as though one man in Greece contemplated everything in creation and questioned it all. But more it was a questioning of certain aspects in a certain field of wonder. But that the fields were different all across the world at the same time. For instance:

• In Greece, when the Ancients were wondering about math and science.
• The Chineese Philosophers (Confucious) was wondering at the political and sociological aspects
• And the Indian (India) Buddhists were trying to find meaning in spiritual enlightenment.

But I guess what gets me is that all of this was going on hundreds if not thousands of years PRIOR to my Christ coming to earth and dying for my sins. So what was God thinking, or doing, or seeing, during that time that led him to leave us be? And why is it that it took such an act of benevolence for HIS name to be in written history afterwards?

I guess that's just more food for thought as well. I wrote more notes, but I'm going to take a break my fingers hurt and my stomach is a littler queasy.

Ciao,
Jude

Severely Lacking

For all of those out there... (I say all with a sarcastic smirk) that read this blog and desire to finally see a video pertaining my views in a Vlog (video blog) then here you go... this weeks' blog.

Politicians and News casters severely lacking in the this-is-neither-the-time-nor-place-emotion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kX6td9Yfkk


For now that is all:

~Jude