I've Been Inspired!

I got inspired this morning Randomly. (Or if you are like me, than you know that random is only a term used when God hits us over the head with something we were missing...)
I watched the rightnow.org video that I shared EVERYWHERE and got touched... htat deep in your heart, down in the crevices that you forget about for long moments at a time... the water seeped in and gave to the thirsty parts of my heart. And here I am, holding that spark in my metaphorical hands and I'm GOING TO FAN THE FLAME.
So I went and searched for my Bible... yeah, go ahead and berate me. I actually had to search for my version of the Words of God... and I found it tucked between Phelps Sports Illustrated and Persuasion by Jane Austen.
And when I opened it to the Book marked page, from 8th or 9th grade the highlighted part that I saw first stated this:
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you."
God has a way of just showing you. All I had to do was look. Search. Find. Those simple actions from me, resulted in getting an answer... and it's like I'm drinking The Water, and my Thirst is being quenched.
I am going to Copy and Paste a comment I made on a video on you-tube... because it will start the ball rolling on my thoughts:
~My heart breaks, because I don't have a meaning to my life right now. I was brought up with a desire to do more, be more, give more and yet I am unable to do so. I'm in a tightly dug hole, with very few options on how to get out and share my words and the WORD of God with others. You with your other videos and your ideas have started to revamp me, started that spark to make me look again, for a place a people that I can help. And I thank you for sharing this with me.~
The feelings in me are sometimes so diverse that I am unable to comprehend them or describe them, or share them. 
 I want to share, to show, to help but its as though I am stopped. There is this big invisible wall that is holding me just out of reach of my Goals my Dream my Desire to Give to Share to Help. Not that long ago I was consumed with a need to help African children, men, and women. I was driven by a force to help them, feed them, give them clean water, and heal there weak and tired souls. And would have been deeply touched with a smile from a sad and lost child being my only payment.

Where did that dream go? How far did it drift, or how far did I drift from it? Why was it that I didn't hold on to it? When was it that I became more than my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions? And why is it that looking back now my ambitions are so much more monetary than those of only a year or so ago when I woke up at sunrise and thanked God that I had AC, food, and hot water... to complaining that I haven't got a long enough hot shower, and being so finicky with the AC/Heating, and complaining that we haven't enough food, when I am able to eat every meal and not miss one. Why? Why.
I don't know what I am thinking, or going to do next, not yet, I am still in the beginning stages of the movement in me... but I know that I am going to try to not drift away again. I know that I am going  to try to make the flame into a fire and the fire into an explosion. And I'm going to try to do those things that not so long ago gave me purpose.
I'll keep you updated...
~Jude

What is a Trader? - RightNow.org